Suffer the Little Epiphanies

A: I never really understood what Skeletor brought to the table in Masters of the Universe. I mean there was a lot that was very clear. The Prince was obviously the effeminate but closeted gay man, the apeman represented the "Bear" look, the Sorceress was Cher, Man-At-Arms was the caring older first lover for He-Man the Prince, the cowardly lion represented the very specific fear of coming out of the closet, Battle Cat represented a wholehearted embrace and pride in one's sexuality, etc.

B: Skeletor represented the hostility of the dominant culture. Poor He-Man, who had come to grips with who he was, and rode his pride (i.e., Battle Cat) around the countryside, only to be harrassed by Skeletor, who made it his sole purpose to destroy He-Man.

Voltron here

probably to give a bruised kick in the ass
It was probably my giant, lead Voltron bought in Japan 19
I have to cite my Japanese Lion-Bot (it was Voltron here)
bitches everywhere, I ride around town in my clean-ass cars
It's midnight now and I'm drunk from Voltron tonite oh yes
it's like the two best things ever forming like Voltron to kick the world's ass
making the all-systems-go, nine-armed Voltron
known as Def Leppard the opening act

My younger brother and I watched Voltron religiously when we were kids
You knew the Power Rangers was a rip off of Voltron
and that Pink Power ranger was totally hot
(You find your friends amusing as they get ripped
try to hit on you, slurring their words and calling you "the best"
I liked Vehicle Voltron better than Lion Force Voltron
and her retard brother who is a Voltron fan
Rainbow Brite didn't come with an ovulation calendar and
Voltron most definitely would've gone to battle
hiked up in a leather mini skirt

Voltron, the lion version, was also another hottie that I liked
I think it's the face peeking out an open lion's mouth just oozes danger
and mystery. But there's also something very vulnerable
and sad about his face, and he has really sexy lips

It was always Voltron, Inframan, and Jet Jaguar rip off anyway
now with Voltron and Saber Riders and the Star Sheriffs
selling pictures we drew of Voltron and his Robeast enemies to other kids
about the 40 billionth time he posted bashing "Car Voltron" for no reason
on a scale of 1 to 5 lions, 5 lions being the best
I give Voltron Defender of the Universe 5 out of 5 lions
an excellent investment
shut off my phone, watch some Arrested Development or
some Voltron and wait for the end

May This Encourage You, Always

What is America's true identity? Would you fuck me for blow?
No addiction! Just blow me off like dirt over your shoulder
& keep walking between the monolithic wads of cash.
If wealth is your goal, it's time to start acting like the wealthy
brick-sized wads of currency heaved out in carpet bags

I go crazy 'cause my folks are so fucking rich
Have to score when I get that rich white itch
Is the cop filled with marshmallows?
(There was no traffic, I thought I'd get away with it
but the goddam cop was hiding in the shadows
With bullets of love & a big puffy marshmallow cruller
The literal wads of cash sticking out of his g-string
Swear on the bible
testified to his intense hotness.

Nothing is stronger than young love, first love.
Many have said that love is like a roller coaster: it seems
like an insane impulse to obey, to allow yourself to get hurtled around,
get slammed against the bar & feel your stomach ride up
in your diaphragm like a mylar balloon, a cake doughnut
bent forward in a cruller shape & finished off
with a white layer of glaze

Egon, dressed in construction crew clothes
is drilling a giant hole in the middle of First Avenue.
Peter and Ray are no where to be found.

Names of Our Cats & Some Friends' Cats

nemmie
nemmie-girl
miss girl
skinny girl
funny girl
audrey hepcat
little miss
junior miss
girlie
girlie-poops
girlikins
kin
foxy
deer foot (or dear foot)
kitty-cat whiskers
skinny bear
runabout
nemmie-cat
snackety
chief

brave horatius
brave h
horatius
boo
big boo
mr. boo
mr. fuzz
mr. snout
mr. fang
mr. lion
walrus fang
bear
mr. bear
licky bear
big bear
tiger bear
seal bear
wonder bear
super bear
ginger bear
ginger rogers
glamor puss
minty
glamor boy
whiney boy
chicken leg
scaredy
fuzz butt
fuzz head
kitty-naut
lazeabout
trotsky
cutardo (cute + retardo)
bulimia mcsupermodel
mirror stage kitten
"chunk and mr. baby"
"soap and poop"
captain fuzz
fishstick
captain fishstick
butt head

opal
opal-girl
country girl
farm girl
toughie
flopsy
bunchy
scrunchy
roly poly
skritchkins
lady skritchkins
roustabout
"soap and poop"
scruffy
scruffalufagous
shaggy
doggie ("doe-gee")
shuggie
little bear
lady fuzz
raccoon
little miss raccoon
muskrat
muskrat girl
otter
poochie
poochie cat
tailor's mouse
favorite cat
all cat
100% cat

zella
zellakins
muffin
muffintins
the muffintins
the wedge
buffy the mouse killer
shaggyfurface
shaggyfurface muffintins
face
faceums
the faceums
the zellerator
the wedgerator
babycakes
baby furface zellacakes
baby sweetcakes
notail manymeals

iggy pop
iggy
the igster
popalot
sir popalot
prince popalot
prince poppy
poppy
pop out
prince among men
precious
sweet precious baby
superprecious babygirl
buddy
iggy and the fucking stooges

maggie
the maggie
the magpie
magpie
maggot
ragdoll
preciouskins
the beautiful magpie

alouicious
alouicious

thomas
good sir thomas
old sir tom

roxy
mary
cross-eyed mary
cross-eyed love button
roxy-girl
silky girl
satin-elle
passion-of-love
roxy o' girlikin
sable
slewfoot
back-up kitten
the little retarded girl who lives down the block

nacho
cheesy poof
nacho cheese head
the distinguisht mr. n
eraser nose
orangey boy
carmel candy
mr. kiester
mr. yes bear
mr. yow
pointy boy
sir talksalot
the proclaimer