A Panda That Has Been Highly Trained In The Martial Arts (cont.)

"A panda who resembles Black only in a few mannerisms."

A panda who is not the most naturally talented Kung Fu fighter. A panda who is more rolly polly than streamlined and graceful. A panda who is round, squishy, and good-hearted. A panda who is loveable, out of shape, and noodilicious. A big oaf panda. A rotund panda with delusions of martial arts grandeur. A big, furry, black-and-white, roly-poly panda. A fat, lazy, underachieving slob panda. A flabby panda. A panda who needs about a thousand hours on the Stairmaster. A panda who throws his considerable bulk into the task, unbowed by reality or even physics. A panda who is the messiah-figure Dragon Warrior. A panda who reaches down inside of himself to find his own strength and courage and whatnot. A panda whose transformation is slightly disappointing. A good panda. A panda who has to fulfill his destiny and save the day even with his bad back, lack of puff and low self-esteem. A panda about whom the film makes a Kantian (unfounded) assumption that goodness is somehow preferable. A panda who presents the "nothingness" of Buddhism to little minds. A panda who crams fruit into his mouth under the Bodhi Tree. A panda with encyclopedic Kung Fu fan-boy knowledge. A panda who is a master of kung fu but isn't able to overcome the lazy storytelling and cheapo audio recording on the DVD. A bumbling panda who aspires to be a kung fu master. A fat panda who loves kung fu. A panda who is able to hold his own--more or less--in the kung fu style. A lumbering panda. A kick-tail, chop-socky fighting machine panda. A panda that could do kung fu. A clumsy, overweight panda who works in the family's noodle restaurant and harbours a fan's enthusiasm for martial arts and its greatest practitioners, the legendary Furious Five. The panda is a likeable oaf. A fat and lazy panda who dreams of being a martial arts ninja. A clumsy, wannabe martial artist, who’s ridiculed by his peers but eventually becomes a warrior under the unconventional tutelage of his sifu. A good-hearted panda. A panda who can never climb the stone steps up to the Temple without having to pause at the top, bent over holding his knees, breathing heavily and being obviously on the verge of throwing up, but who becomes a master of kung fu. A panda who must overcome his saggy belly and inherent clumsiness to fulfil an ancient prophecy and restore calm to the valley. This panda is basically Rocky, but fat and a panda. A panda that looks like Jack Black in a big hot panda suit. A panda who is basically Jack Black wearing a cartoon suit, rather than just lending his voice. A cuddly panda voiced by a guy who once sang, “With karate I’ll kick your ass.” A roly-poly panda voiced by Jack Black. A computer-animated and fully anthropomorphized panda. A panda who resembles Black only in a few mannerisms. A panda that was probably based on Jackie Chan. An out of shape panda who dreams of being a martial arts master rather than one day taking over his father's noodle business. A panda who has big dreams but an entirely mundane life of serving noodles to customers at his father’s noodle shop. A panda who gets stuck serving noodles in his dad's restaurant. A panda who works for his father in a noodle shop that always is filled with customers. A talking panda who works in a noodle shop but dreams of training for kung fu with his idols. A kung fu-loving nerd panda living his father's dream in a noodle shop--his dad's a duck, by the way. A panda whose dad for some reason appears to be a large emaciated bird, very similar to Big Bird in Sesame Street. A panda whose father is a duck who runs a humble noodle shop. Why a duck? That's a mystery. Even the panda's father is not a panda at all but a stork. I would really like to figure out how these animals procreate. A panda but his dad is a goose, a discrepancy he never seems to notice. This is symbolic of the emptiness within our hero Panda.