Anal Ewok

Just me being all anal about life being too precious and crap
when the main character shoots them.
I'm looking for that Ewok song got radio play.
I'm going to say some things I thought I'd never say:

"I'd jizz on an Ewok if I had a penis."
"I'd cocaine into his penis."
"I can't believe you called me prude because I'm not into anal."
"Oh look, my clones are lezzing themselves up in bed."

Black Haiku

1. I know how to draw a gun better than I know
how to draw a panda. A panda bear eats shoots
& leaves. A panda bear eats, shoots, & leaves.

2. I can't control this airplane.
That's what it's like.

--
I.M. Jutok Kaneko,
dead January 24th, 2007

Episode 36: Skeletors Wickedness

Practice moderation Yeah, like that's happening
White slacks, puke-stained slip-ons, 1988. Growing up
in a Christian family, not sneaking out to parties, etc.
I can say that I have seen only a small amount of pain
& have a tendency to take the hope I have in Christ for granted.
Also, I fear puking. I avoid it at all costs. I've avoided
serious puke for at least 10 years. I'm
so fucking sober right now its rediculous.

To soul-absorbing of every man who endorses,
that he should say Buy ambien anew

Buy ambien blood-seeker sauluteferi iv a crosscut leopardess
awkwardly subpoened in the teachings of half-sob systems;
that God is the Buy ambien of all truth and all right, Buy ambien
even in heathen minds, moss-roses readily Buy ambien received
by the gnasheth upon the slim, Dunstau of Buy ambien
Buy ambien, without whose syllabarium will no admittance
come to comatose obtained. Buy ambien, and when opened
a skirmish shoo the cheese-curd of our beautiful country,
Buy ambien who wish to be outshined into slices.

Suffer the Little Epiphanies

A: I never really understood what Skeletor brought to the table in Masters of the Universe. I mean there was a lot that was very clear. The Prince was obviously the effeminate but closeted gay man, the apeman represented the "Bear" look, the Sorceress was Cher, Man-At-Arms was the caring older first lover for He-Man the Prince, the cowardly lion represented the very specific fear of coming out of the closet, Battle Cat represented a wholehearted embrace and pride in one's sexuality, etc.

B: Skeletor represented the hostility of the dominant culture. Poor He-Man, who had come to grips with who he was, and rode his pride (i.e., Battle Cat) around the countryside, only to be harrassed by Skeletor, who made it his sole purpose to destroy He-Man.

Voltron here

probably to give a bruised kick in the ass
It was probably my giant, lead Voltron bought in Japan 19
I have to cite my Japanese Lion-Bot (it was Voltron here)
bitches everywhere, I ride around town in my clean-ass cars
It's midnight now and I'm drunk from Voltron tonite oh yes
it's like the two best things ever forming like Voltron to kick the world's ass
making the all-systems-go, nine-armed Voltron
known as Def Leppard the opening act

My younger brother and I watched Voltron religiously when we were kids
You knew the Power Rangers was a rip off of Voltron
and that Pink Power ranger was totally hot
(You find your friends amusing as they get ripped
try to hit on you, slurring their words and calling you "the best"
I liked Vehicle Voltron better than Lion Force Voltron
and her retard brother who is a Voltron fan
Rainbow Brite didn't come with an ovulation calendar and
Voltron most definitely would've gone to battle
hiked up in a leather mini skirt

Voltron, the lion version, was also another hottie that I liked
I think it's the face peeking out an open lion's mouth just oozes danger
and mystery. But there's also something very vulnerable
and sad about his face, and he has really sexy lips

It was always Voltron, Inframan, and Jet Jaguar rip off anyway
now with Voltron and Saber Riders and the Star Sheriffs
selling pictures we drew of Voltron and his Robeast enemies to other kids
about the 40 billionth time he posted bashing "Car Voltron" for no reason
on a scale of 1 to 5 lions, 5 lions being the best
I give Voltron Defender of the Universe 5 out of 5 lions
an excellent investment
shut off my phone, watch some Arrested Development or
some Voltron and wait for the end

May This Encourage You, Always

What is America's true identity? Would you fuck me for blow?
No addiction! Just blow me off like dirt over your shoulder
& keep walking between the monolithic wads of cash.
If wealth is your goal, it's time to start acting like the wealthy
brick-sized wads of currency heaved out in carpet bags

I go crazy 'cause my folks are so fucking rich
Have to score when I get that rich white itch
Is the cop filled with marshmallows?
(There was no traffic, I thought I'd get away with it
but the goddam cop was hiding in the shadows
With bullets of love & a big puffy marshmallow cruller
The literal wads of cash sticking out of his g-string
Swear on the bible
testified to his intense hotness.

Nothing is stronger than young love, first love.
Many have said that love is like a roller coaster: it seems
like an insane impulse to obey, to allow yourself to get hurtled around,
get slammed against the bar & feel your stomach ride up
in your diaphragm like a mylar balloon, a cake doughnut
bent forward in a cruller shape & finished off
with a white layer of glaze

Egon, dressed in construction crew clothes
is drilling a giant hole in the middle of First Avenue.
Peter and Ray are no where to be found.

Names of Our Cats & Some Friends' Cats

nemmie
nemmie-girl
miss girl
skinny girl
funny girl
audrey hepcat
little miss
junior miss
girlie
girlie-poops
girlikins
kin
foxy
deer foot (or dear foot)
kitty-cat whiskers
skinny bear
runabout
nemmie-cat
snackety
chief

brave horatius
brave h
horatius
boo
big boo
mr. boo
mr. fuzz
mr. snout
mr. fang
mr. lion
walrus fang
bear
mr. bear
licky bear
big bear
tiger bear
seal bear
wonder bear
super bear
ginger bear
ginger rogers
glamor puss
minty
glamor boy
whiney boy
chicken leg
scaredy
fuzz butt
fuzz head
kitty-naut
lazeabout
trotsky
cutardo (cute + retardo)
bulimia mcsupermodel
mirror stage kitten
"chunk and mr. baby"
"soap and poop"
captain fuzz
fishstick
captain fishstick
butt head

opal
opal-girl
country girl
farm girl
toughie
flopsy
bunchy
scrunchy
roly poly
skritchkins
lady skritchkins
roustabout
"soap and poop"
scruffy
scruffalufagous
shaggy
doggie ("doe-gee")
shuggie
little bear
lady fuzz
raccoon
little miss raccoon
muskrat
muskrat girl
otter
poochie
poochie cat
tailor's mouse
favorite cat
all cat
100% cat

zella
zellakins
muffin
muffintins
the muffintins
the wedge
buffy the mouse killer
shaggyfurface
shaggyfurface muffintins
face
faceums
the faceums
the zellerator
the wedgerator
babycakes
baby furface zellacakes
baby sweetcakes
notail manymeals

iggy pop
iggy
the igster
popalot
sir popalot
prince popalot
prince poppy
poppy
pop out
prince among men
precious
sweet precious baby
superprecious babygirl
buddy
iggy and the fucking stooges

maggie
the maggie
the magpie
magpie
maggot
ragdoll
preciouskins
the beautiful magpie

alouicious
alouicious

thomas
good sir thomas
old sir tom

roxy
mary
cross-eyed mary
cross-eyed love button
roxy-girl
silky girl
satin-elle
passion-of-love
roxy o' girlikin
sable
slewfoot
back-up kitten
the little retarded girl who lives down the block

nacho
cheesy poof
nacho cheese head
the distinguisht mr. n
eraser nose
orangey boy
carmel candy
mr. kiester
mr. yes bear
mr. yow
pointy boy
sir talksalot
the proclaimer

Squirrel

We have a red squirrel in our classroom. He is called Sammy. He was
knocked down by our teacher a few years ago. He got him stuffed and
brought him into school because his wife did not like the look of him.
Now he is the class mascot. He keeps an eye on us when the teacher has to leave the room on a message.

Communication Breakdown

1.

Sleeping nowadays is a lot like being awake, in that when I open my eyes I seem to have spent the entire time mentally going over lists of things we need to buy, or move, or remember to tell the baby nurse. Only much less efficiently than I would have done awake, because they're interspersed with dreams where I introduce my prenatal instructor / lactation consultant to my mother as Barbara Luke, & am then mortified when I can't remember her real name at all.

2.

Thank you for contacting my office. Due to technical difficulties, we are
unable to respond to your email. If you need an immediate response,
please write to the office at:

2241 Rayburn House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515

3.

On the first show, halfway through 'Small Car', much to our surprise the studio was invaded by Radio Student's newsgirls, who proceeded to cut the song off & start an unscheduled bulletin while we grabbed our things & made a quick, confused exit!

4. "1 Comment"

306481 Blog Verification said,

306481 Blog Verification

May 29, 2006 at 5:19 am

5.

Thank you for your e-mail. Each & every piece of correspondence I receive is important because it allows me to better understand the New Yorkers I serve in the United States Senate.
          As you can imagine, my office receives a great number of messages every day regarding a variety of issues – this is particularly true of e-mails. It makes me proud to know that my constituents take an active role in our government by corresponding with me, & I look forward to responding to your concerns in greater detail. In the meantime, I just wanted to let you know that your e-mail has been received, & to ask for your patience until I send you a more detailed response.
          Again, thank you for writing. Please feel free to visit my website to follow my work in the Senate & to learn more about the services my office can provide to you.

Warmest regards
[no signature]

Entercation & Communitainment
(with Matthias Regan)

Entertain your whole household when you want to
talk all you want about the things you want
The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, carpet,
the decorations or the older furniture & this value
is true to life. Talk all you want - you won’t
feel left out anymore
To get purchase on life talk on

Go ahead, grab a beverage Make a call or two
When you’re watching TV & you want to know more
An internet search engine gives you background on your favorite shows
I mean even your childrens favorite shows you care about

Help our athletes, Keep their dreams alive
Send them a personalized message today
Encourage them to go for the Gold Pass the pride Pass it on
Learn how to pass for free Fun Pass to take your family
Take them places where you know they like to go
Just look for the sign in the window of each participating merchant
& be sure to ask for your validation when you make purchase

Talk to your friends & Let the kids pick photos they can send
About the now new music video you saw. Then “go online”
To see who created your favorite TV show
Find out more fun facts about the actors who you really liked
inject fun into mundane household tasks

Use your phone if you want to eat Shop online while you sit
In traffic next time remember to check the weather
so you don’t get stuck & Skip work if its looks wet out
Wet pavements slow the traffic to a fucking crawl

Don’t waste a single minute Reward yourself
With great gifts Monthly savings with
Simplicity when pizzas arrive
You won’t be the one to miss out
Go ahead & get that beverage now
Because you know now you won’t miss a thing

2. ("Where do we stash the bodies?")

Players in the virtual world called "Second Life" spend much of their time customizing & building the world around them, designing clothing, items & rumors of buildings to live in. Now corporate sponsors want to connect with that world's residents, & they're willing to pay for it. A company called Electric Sheep (a reference to the Philip K. Dick short story that inspired "Blade Runner") is selling its services as a developer in the virtual world, customizing landscapes & constructing homes for corporations who want a presence in the world.

(What makes these corporations "sponsors" is one question etc.)

Last year, for example, Wells Fargo Bank wanted to build an island in "Second Life" where the bank's young customers could learn lessons about financial responsibility. That's where Electric Sheep comes in. The company, technically based in Washington D.C. but operating more often than not in the virtual world, has been booking six-figure deals from members of the Fortune 500 who want to engage their customers, though Electric Sheep CEO Sibley Verbeck would not name any of the corporate clients.

One organization that has hired the company for such a purpose is the New Media Consortium, a nonprofit group consisting of 200 members including Harvard, Yale, Princeton, many other top American colleges & universities & many museums. "We're building an experimental space in 'Second Life' to look at ways a 3D environment can be used to do real work," said Larry Johnson, CEO of the New Media Consortium, "to bring people together, to have meetings, for knowledge sharing, for learning & to do conferences."

You can hide out in that crawl space above the garage
You can hide up there get all nervous inside
The next person to bang the door & run
is going to get their head beat off
Start looking for a place to hide

More Captain

One of my favorite *What If?* comics involves a scenario where Captain America gets thawed out in the mid-80s (for "today," in this case meaning the 80s) instead of March 1964. As in the comics, Cap's role was filled during the 50s by an unnamed man who went nuts & accused everyone of being a communist, only to be placed in suspended animation. In the 616 continuty, this fake Captain America was not awakened until 1972 & was defeated then by the real Steve Rogers.

In this *What If?*, there was no Steve Rogers to expose the false Captain America. His paranoia about the communists led Cap to align himself with a right-wing group that eventually transformed America into a fascist dictatorship, with him as its figurehead. In 1983, a Navy submarine discovered the original Captain America still frozen in the same ice floe. After seeing what had become of his country, Captain America fought & defeated his paranoid double.

You were told that America is the greatest country in the world
You were told you that America could be refined like silver
Bang out the impurities & shine badge bright

Captain America's skepticism about the US is nothing new.
Even in 1986, during the "Born Again" story arc in Daredevil, Captain America seems to exude some sort of curiousity after having to arrest a crazy super-soldier with the flag painted on his face.

11 hours into your flight, youre plummeting to your icy tomb, just like Captain America after WWII.

I'm very fascinated by Captain America.

More Captain

I really, really liked how they did Captain America. His out of sink with reality was too cute, actually, about all his non-combat interactions were cute. On a side note, Captain America reminded me of Cloud minus the alien mind control freak whip & he lacked the slightly feminine appearance.

"Captain America, we need your help!"
"Plaintive, Captain America."
"Where are you going?"
"I threw a rock at him."

After that, Captain America spent some time in Afghanistan fighting terrorists.

DC Comics had a solution for this. During the war, they decided to craft their stories as such: Hitler is in possession of the Spear of Destiny. This is the spear Jesus was stabbed with when he was on the cross. In Hitler's hands, it caused any serious superhero that came within Nazi territory to go crazy/lose their powers/get brainwashed to the Nazi side. This meant that powerhouses like Superman/Wonder Woman/Green Lantern couldn't go into Germany and win the war. They'd have to settle for fighting Nazis in America. Weaker heroes, or ones without any superpowers, could get into Germany to fight the Nazis. Basically, anyone that could singlehandedly win the war was magically unable to enter Nazi territory.

"The events of history seem to be happening to him."
"Time to be eating the hot dogs of America."

More Captain

Really push to define the political stances of superheroes. Rarely an easy task. Earth-616 Captain America fit snugly in the New Deal Democratic mold: taming the great beast of government & using it to help people, no matter what their race or creed. A hero to buy off labor with. But just as Ultimate Spider-Man (Earth-1610) is making out with Kitty Pryde instead of Mary Jane Watson, Ultimate Captain America differs in his politics. More reactionary, more righteous, more violent. In short, a modern paleo-conservative.

You cld see the two Captains as heroes of their eras. Cap 616 was made
1941, in the wake of the New Deal, in a war of "superpowers" empire against empire
(in which at least two poles signed themselves as "for all") Ultimate Cap is in
the image of unipolar global conflict management
(monopoly dressed up in coalition blue
ultimate because unmoored at last from history
          final authority
an infant fantasy of the immortal
          : a guy draped in the American flag
                   leading a military detachment
          into a Mid East nation
                   for "peacekeeping"



Ult Cap was made in 2000
(cos Clinton got here first

the diff being between
the neo-cons & neo-libs
mostly of strategic affiliation
not of principle

2.

*What are continuities?* Most of the action takes place on a continuity
known as Earth-616. As far as how the world is going right now, it seems like
we’re on 616. It’s possible that they could come out later & say otherwise.

Time branches out, creating alternate realities at key points (moments
pass & generate conditions for the whatever-the-next at all levels
-- cat knocks down cup etcetera in the field of possible "responsibilities"
but add to these other, outset responses (mostly exclusive) so you get a world
in which China her financiers never foreclosed the bulk of U.S. debt, dragging
the whole shebang into panic, devaluation, & an economic coup etc.
in retaliation 5 yrs after the May '99 embassy bombing.

A continuity is not the same
as a dimension or universe; characters like Mephisto & Dormammu
hail from alternate dimensions, & the Celestials another universe,
but they’re down with the 616. As the present condition of nations is
of many antecedent changes, some extremely remote & some recent,
some gradual, sudden and violent etc. (sez Mr. Lyell
Those "realities" spawn other continuities at similar junctures:

Looking back into the chronicles of nations (Lyell sez
how the fortune of some battle or innocent development
has influenced the millions our contemporaries
when it has long been forgotten by this population



The enumeration

1. probably invented by the Time Variance Authority,
which keeps tabs on the continuities as they appear
2. The name used by the Dimensional Development Corp.
for the mainstream universe it hopes soon to open
to the market
3. There exist hundreds, probably thousands of continuities. A warp known as “The Nexus of All Realities” exists in a swamp in the Florida (Earth) of Earth-616. For the most part the generation of continuities doesn’t matter, as most beings are unaware of their existence, even at the moment their universe is born from another. “It is spring: life begins to assume its normal appearance as of ‘today.’ Only the imagination is undeceived” (Williams). There are, however, organizations that monitor & sometimes manipulate the continuities. These include the Time Variance Authority & Kang the Conqueror’s forces.
4. Incidentally, for the non-comics readers, 616 is code for
“will never have a boyfriend/girlfriend.”

Rauschenberg Redux

Plate 121: Nettle. His hands & feet, fingers & toes long-jointed, are astonishing; they certify his work. & the signature is nowhere to be seen. Or if you don't see it, mebbe you need glasses. When it's a question of losing yr eyesight the best thing to do is to find the best eye doctor (the best painter) he'll fix you up. I am trying to check my habits of seeing, to counter them for the sake of greater freshness. I am trying to be unfamiliar with what I'm doing.

Plate 22: Short Circuit. (He says—& is he speaking of technique?—"What do you want, a declaration of love? I take responsibility for competence & hope to have made something hazardous with which we can try ourselves.") He's like that butcher whose knife never got dull because he cut with it in such a way that it never encountered an obstacle. The thing is, we get the point more quickly when we realize it is we looking rather than that we may not be seeing it. And object is fact, not symbol. Technique is: how are the people?

Plate 101: Broadcast. Dante is an incentive, as useful as a chicken or an old shirt. More important is to know exactly the size of the door & techniques for getting a canvas out of the studio.

Plate 5: Elaine's Party. It was a New Year's Eve party in the country & one of them had written a philosophical book & was searching for a picture that would illustrate a particular point but was having difficulty. Another was knitting, following the rules from a book she had in front of her. The rest were talking, trying to be helpful. The suggestion was made that the picture in the knitting book would illustrate the point. On examination it was found that everything on the page was relevant, including the page number.

Plate 137: First Landing Jump. This is not a composition. It is a place where things are, like a table or a town seen from the air. Setting out one day for a birthday party, I noticed the streets were full of presents. The gifts he gives are things we already have. Were he saying something in particular, he would have to focus the painting; as it is he simply focuses himself & everything, a pair of socks, is appropriate.

Plate 153: Door. Mebbe because we've had it around for so long so close to us without putting it to use, which is its meaning.

Plate 107: Gift for Apollo. So somebody has talent? So what? Dime a dozen. And we're overpopulated. Actually we have more food than we have people we're willing to give it to, & more art. We've gotten to the point of burning food. When will we begin to burn our art?


Sources: John Cage, "On Robert Rauschenberg, Artist, & His Work"; Robert Rauschenberg Combines (MOCA, LA exhibition catalog, Steidl 2005)

Hopefully They Will Never Leave the Weeble Tree House

1. We have an expression in our house, 'We're not at home to...'
for when someone is misbehaving - normally applied to my daughter
when she sticks her tongue out: "We're not at home to Mrs. Licky."

2. you are funny bout the plug thing lol & the fruitloops i dk
why not slim jims are really good but now lol theres sum nasty things
in them chicken mcnuggits ewwww

3. if carebear is a real living thing and xing chen is also real.
if carebear is on the top and xin chen on the bottem.
xin chen sure die for sure. lols

More Captain

Z: Does "Captain Infinity" sound corny to you?
B: It reminds me of Capt. Planet. But it's better than Capt. Crunch.
Z: But better like Captain America, not lame like Captain Charisma.
B: Capt. Charisma has the NWA title. What does Capt. America have?
Z: He has peak human strength, speed, & agility. Also he is a strategist.
B: So basically, he PWNS Christian?
Z: Yes he p-words Christian.
B: Haha you say it like it's a dirty word. "Pwn me all night long!"

True Stories of American Freedom (2)

Freedom 3 is about three U.S. Marines that are injected with a serum identified as the "Freedom" serum, enabling each Marine to take on characteristics & abilities allowing for various changes in their efforts to serve under the United States Constitution.

Globe (who is a creature of the earth), Eagle (a mute telepath with wings), & Anchor (has a fiery side that can burn & touch a person’s soul, & granite like viral touch that initially simply stalls people) make up the Freedom 3 USMC special unit.

“The recently awakened members of Freedom get handed an assignment no Marine would refuse; to hunt down & capture Osama bin Laden!”

In fact, the cover of Freedom 3 pays homage to the most recognized Captain America cover. The Joe Simon & Jack Kirby Captain America #1 cover (March 1941, National Comics) shows the red, white & blue clad Captain America punching Adolf Hitler in the face. The Freedom 3 cover drives home the parallel between World War II’s Adolf Hitler & today’s al-Qaida’s Osama bin Laden.

“During this day, when times are just as turbulent as when 1940 led America into tough times; it becomes every American's responsibility to not lose sight of what makes freedom special,” said Rick Olney, the writer & publisher of Freedom 3.

The three-issue hunt for Osama bin Laden starts in May, when the book will ship, with the story arc “What Price Freedom.”

True Stories of American Freedom

Captain America stole the whole damned show! its a shame that he only fought like 1 or 2 human characters in the begining cos he had one hella smashmouth fighting style that I would have loved to see more of. It kicked ass seeing him fight a Nazi, scream out "Hitler's dead bitch!" and then stick his shield right THROUGH the nazi's stomach. That was awesome, I got outta my chair and almost totally screamed "U.S.A"!

Captain America sez: "I hope your f-ing dick falls off. At a time when our soldiers are dying for ungrateful college boys like you, who by the way have taken away deserving young mens' educations because of Affirmative "Over"-Action, you can speak like that about our commander in chief. Don't ever come back through Missouri. I checked this blog out because someone at my school said it was funny, I didn't think I'd have to read a bunch of liberal bullshit by some rapper wannabe drug-dealing lefty. Maybe you should take the time to learn something in college, asshole."

Captain America was frozen in the ice. You know it. I know it. And when someone is frozen in ice for fifty years, it's different than how it is for us normal people. You're not the same around women, or other men. You have trouble fitting in in social groups, and everywhere you look, you feel as if you're different than the rest. Advertisements aren't aimed at you. Rap music is strange-sounding and even offensive to your ears. Captain America is different from us. He is. But that's okay. He's a part of our world and part of the beautiful canvas we call "society." And if you don't like that, then fuck you, cause this is America and we're all equal here. And likewise, if I want to make fun of Captain America, that's okay too.

Top 5 Things Likely to Escape My Mouth on Accident

1. Oh nuit, be gentle

2. She started going mental and wrecked my cake
The ice sculptures got completely broken

3. Hulk punches someone, they get knocked down,
someone else goes to fight him, they get knocked
down, someone else goes to fight him, they get
knocked down etc.

4. I'm sick of this like broken ghetto refrigerator

5. It was when Conner Oberst accidently spit on me on Friday